Coaching skills to optimise everyday workplace conversations

Coaching skills to optimise everyday workplace conversations 

Why coaching skills for leaders?

Leaders today can’t afford to think for their teams. They don’t have the time—or all the answers. Challenges move too fast and are too complex for a top-down approach. Leadership is shifting from the traditional “boss-knows-best” model to a more empowering approach: catalysing high-quality thinking in others. By using coaching skills, leaders can help their team members solve their own problems, take aligned action with confidence, and hold themselves (and each other) accountable for excellent results.

Many leaders feel unsure how to bring out the best in their teams. Old “command and control” habits run deep, and breaking them can be a challenge. The good news? With the right guidance and a bit of practice, leaders can rewire their approach and master practical skills to ignite the untapped potential in their people.

This article offers simple, actionable tips for holding everyday workplace conversations in ways that spark new thinking, inspire action, and drive accountability.Coaching skills to optimise everyday workplace conversations

The 2 critical underpinning skills:

Listening

Leaders who listen create space for smarter decisions. It’s not a soft skill; it’s a sharp edge for effective leadership. When leaders genuinely hear their teams, they are often surprised by what they hear. Leaders who listen are able to tap into surprising insights that refine strategies, solve problems faster, and inspire innovation. 

Here are 3 practices you can do to build your “listening muscle”:

  1. Get present: Next time you have a conversation, put down all your devices and give the person your FULL attention for the entire duration of the conversation. What happens when you do that?
  2. Hold back: Once we’ve heard someone’s story, it’s tempting to jump in with opinions, experiences, or advice. We think we’re helping, but this often actually shuts down their thinking. Instead, resist the urge to speak. When they pause, wait, and then wait a little longer. Let them fill the silence, you might be surprised by what comes next.
  3. Listen for meaning: Pick another conversation and see if you can listen for what the person is meaning. Not necessarily the words they are saying, but what they mean by those words. What do you hear that you might not have heard otherwise?

Questions

A well-placed question challenges assumptions, sparks insight, and reveals new perspectives. Tough questions rewire our brains. They spark new connections and fresh ideas. So not only do powerful questions ignite fresh thinking, and fuel new connections, but in answering we actually change our biology! 

Without questions, conversations are often stale, repetitive, and uninspiring; with them, they can be exciting and energising.

Research suggests that people are 5 times more committed to their own ideas. This is why telling them what to do doesn’t work. It wasn’t their idea. But if they come up with their own solution (because you asked them a question) they are 5 times more likely to follow through with action. Amazing!

Powerful questions are open-ended and short.

Here are 3 practices to help you develop your skill in asking questions:

  1. Replace advice with a question: Next time you have a conversation, see if you can catch yourself attempting to solve the problem for the person. See if you can hold back on providing advice or a solution. Ask a question instead.
  2. Questions only: Pick another conversation and see if you can only ask questions. What happens?
  3. Keep it short: Once you start getting the hang of asking questions instead of dispensing advice, see if you can make them really crisp. Seven words or less is ideal.

Everyday workplace conversations

There are a multitude of workplace conversations that happen every day. In fact, some writers suggest that an organisation is nothing more than the sum of its conversations. If you want to change the “way we do things around here” you have to change the conversation.  

Some conversations are avoided, or done poorly (like feedback conversations) some are met with anxiety and resistance (like performance reviews). However, when approached with skill they have the potential to tap into and build the intelligence of the whole organisation. 

Coaching skills to optimise everyday workplace conversationsHere are some practical ways that leaders can hold everyday workplace conversations in ways that ignite thinking, inspiration, action and accountability:

Performance Reviews

Rather than focussing solely on the metrics during a performance review, and giving your team member/employee a scolding or a pat on the back, this is an opportunity for some wonderful thinking, to acknowledge areas of effort and strength and encourage repeat behaviour and to understand what lies beneath the sticky areas and build agency and accountability for growth. Look at each KPA in turn with your team member considering the following questions:

  • What have you been most proud of in this area?
  • What have you learned in this area?
  • Would you like to do differently going forward?
  • What would you like to achieve in this area in the next X time period?
  • What excites you about that?

You might even provide them with these questions beforehand so that they can do some pre-thinking and come prepared. This can enrich the conversation even further. 

One-on-Ones

People often confuse one-on-ones with performance conversations, operational check-ins or giving feedback. Actually, one-on-one conversations are an amazing opportunity for team members and leaders to connect. Some leaders have asked us – “do I need to be my team member’s therapist?” No – while one-on-ones may include personal aspects that are not primarily about a person’s personal life. Rather, they are an opportunity to explore how your team members are doing at work. 

Some questions you might ask during a one-on-one might be:

  • How are you at work?
  • What are you finding most challenging at the moment?
  • What is really lighting your fire?
  • What do you see as your next learning point?
  • Where would you like to grow?
  • What would you like to see more of/less of from me as your leader?

Giving Acknowledgement

Positive acknowledgement is so often sparse in organisations. We could all do with more of it. Neuroscience tells us that because we are wired with a bias for negative information, we need 5 times more affirmation than negative feedback to stay balanced. Receiving feedback that is positive, building and undoubtedly genuine is often accompanied by feelings of great well-being and enhanced personal confidence.

There are probably 3 levels of positive acknowledgement that we might offer. 

  1. Level 1: A generic, simple “Well done on your presentation” or “thank you” Just acknowledging a job well done.
  2. Level 2: Acknowledges something specific “I really appreciated the visuals you shared – they landed your point very well.” Helps a person understand what they did well, so they can leverage it again. 
  3. Level 3: Acknowledges a person’s growth “I notice how much confidence you have nowadays when you speak on your topic – you really are becoming a subject expert.” This allows a person to keep growing. 

A good rule of thumb: Make sure acknowledgement is genuine and specific.

Feedback Conversations

Feedback is tough. We avoid it, stumble through it, or worse—get it wrong. But done well, it’s a game-changer. They are an opportunity for real growth if done well. There are many feedback models out there – use them. Unfortunately, there is no silver bullet. Feedback conversations are almost always tricky. Here is a simple and effective model that helps leaders give feedback about a person’s behaviour (not them as a person) is: 

  1. When xxxx happens,
  2. The impact is xxxx
  3. What I then need is xxxx
  4. What do you need?

Then, LISTEN.

Laser thinking conversations

We often just don’t have time for lengthy ‘thinking conversations’. Sometimes all you have is a quick coffee break or a flight of stairs. That’s still time to spark fresh thinking. However, there is no reason why leaders can’t use this time to ignite some fresh thinking in the flow of the workday. Here is a set of questions you can pull out of your pocket to support a team member to do some thinking. 

  • What is the real challenge here?
  • What is the cause of this?
  • What would you like to see happening instead?
  • What ideas do you have about how to get there?
  • What have you never thought of?
  • Now, what are you going to do?

Great leaders don’t solve every problem, they enable others to think, grow, and take meaningful action. By honing coaching skills like listening, asking powerful questions, and approaching workplace conversations with intention, you can build a culture of innovation, accountability, and growth. 

Master these skills, and you won’t just lead—you’ll inspire.