Breaking Free from the Drama Triangle: For Leaders and Teams
We humans love drama. Our brains are wired for it. The ancient storytelling traditions are built on it. Netflix is a product of it. Drama captivates and fascinates us.
In the workplace, it shows up as corridor gossip, complaining, blame, cliques and exclusion, resistance, power games, grievances and grudges, apathy and outright conflict. Very few organisations are without it.
If you are hearing words like
- “Can you believe what they decided?!”
- “It’s not my fault!”
- “People just need to take responsibility around here!”
- “Have you heard what so-and-so did?!”
- “I mean, I don’t really care, but ….”
- “Not again!”
you might be stuck in the drama.
When we ask business leaders how much of the conversation in their workplaces is in the ‘drama zone’ they typically roll their eyes and give us a number between 70 and 100%. They often think they are unique – they are not. Drama is everywhere.
Workplace drama shifts focus away from growth, innovation, and quality work toward navigating interpersonal conflicts. It derails creative thinking, breeds negativity, and drives up operational costs—all of which undermine an organisation’s chances of meaningful success.
The Drama Triangle, a model developed by Stephen Karpman in 1968, is an illuminating sense-making framework that can help leaders and teams to understand the explain recurring conflict dynamics in the workplace… When teams fall into this triangle, they find themselves trapped in a cycle of blame, helplessness, and over-dependence, which severely limits productivity and progress.
This model identifies three core roles that perpetuate cycles of conflict: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer. Understanding how these roles play out in your team or organisation is the first step toward breaking free from conflict and moving toward sustainable growth and accountability.
Are your team members stuck in these roles, holding back progress? How often do you find yourself or others taking on the role of the Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer in difficult situations? These roles keep teams stuck in drama, negatively impacting productivity, communication, and growth.
What is the Drama Triangle?
The Drama Triangle explains how individuals and teams get stuck in negative dynamics that prevent progress. Each of the three roles feeds into the other, creating a cycle of blame, helplessness, and over-dependence. Here’s a breakdown:
- Victim: The Victim feels powerless, oppressed, or mistreated. They seek sympathy from others but are reluctant to take responsibility for their situation. Rather than looking for solutions, the Victim focuses on their struggles and often view themselves as trapped, without agency or options…
- Persecutor: The Persecutor blames, criticises, or attacks others. They assume a position of superiority, believing that others are the root of the problem. Their approach tends to be harsh and controlling, which only intensifies the conflict.
- Rescuer: The Rescuer feels compelled to save others, often at the expense of their own well-being. They take on problems that aren’t theirs to solve and try to “rescue” the Victim, which creates a dynamic where the Rescuer feels needed but ultimately contributes to maintaining the cycle of dependency.
As long as all three roles are filled, the drama will continue.
Do you recognise these behaviours in your team? When conflict arises, which role do you or your team members tend to take? These roles not only damage personal growth but also hinder the collective success of the team.
Breaking the Cycle: Moving Towards the Developer Role
To escape the Drama Triangle, someone needs to step out and become a Developer. The Developer encourages self-awareness, open communication, and personal accountability, which are essential in any high-functioning team.
Breaking free from the roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer requires actionable steps that foster accountability, empathy, and collaboration. If you’re ready to shift your team’s dynamics and develop a more empowered, growth-focused mindset, download our Drama Triangle Guide today.
Why Moving Beyond the Drama Triangle Matters
Teams stuck in the Drama Triangle tend to experience high levels of frustration, low productivity, and poor communication. These dynamics not only impact the immediate team but can also create a ripple effect across the entire organisation. By adopting the Developer mindset, teams start to cultivate three essential qualities:
- Self-Awareness: The Developer encourages individuals to recognise how their behaviours affect others. This self-awareness is the foundation for personal growth and change.
- Accountability: Developers take ownership of their actions and help others do the same. This accountability helps teams move away from blame and toward solutions.
- Effective Communication: Developers promote open, respectful communication, ensuring all voices are heard. This kind of dialogue is key to resolving conflict and fostering a productive team dynamic.
Is conflict affecting your team’s ability to work together? By stepping out of the triangle and adopting the Developer mindset, individuals and teams can cultivate an environment of growth and accountability.
Empower Your Team with the Developer Mindset
Breaking free from the Drama Triangle encourages personal growth and a collaborative environment where everyone takes ownership of their actions. As you transition from Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer to Developer, you’ll notice a shift in how conflicts are handled and how team members engage with each other.
By adopting the Developer mindset, leaders and teams can navigate complex dynamics with greater self-awareness, empathy, and accountability, leading to more meaningful, sustained success.
Are you ready to transform your team’s dynamics and cultivate lasting change?
Download our full guide on the Drama Triangle and learn how to empower your team:
